My husband’s parents have been divorced for many years and to this day my mother-in-law has nothing good to say about her ex-husband. All she does is bad-mouth him every chance she gets. Obviously she wants me to hate him, but the truth is he is a very nice man, a good father and grandfather.
Queenie, how do I get her to stop all this talk without her thinking I am taking sides against her?—Daughter-in-law
Without saying anything to defend your father-in-law, when your mother-in-law starts bad-mouthing him just tell her that you do not want to hear such talk and ask her to change the subject. Or, if necessary, get up and leave.
You might also suggest that she get professional counselling to try to get over being so obsessed with and angry at her ex.