Dear Queenie,

  My husband and I are churchgoing people with traditional values, more so than his parents. When we visited them during summer vacation we found them drinking in front of our children, along with my husband’s brother and his wife and daughter and her boyfriend that she lives with (both of them under 21), and several of them were already drunk.

  Moreover, we found out that they had been talking to our kids about their cousin and her boyfriend living together and it was clear that they didn’t disapprove.

  Queenie, how do we explain all this to our kids?—Conservative parents


Dear Parents,

  You cannot control what other people do, only your own response.

  Explain this to your children, and make sure they understand how you feel about such things. They are sure to encounter other situations you do not approve of, and hopefully they will remember what you have tried to teach them.