Dear Queenie,

  Before we got married my fiancée and I talked about finances and we planned that she would look for a job and we would share expenses. However, she has not been able to find a job she likes and meanwhile I have built up considerable debt.

  Then her father gave her a big check for her birthday and I asked her to give me a small part of it to help pay some of our bills, but she refused, saying it was her money to do with as she pleased.

  Queenie, was I being unreasonable?—Husband in debt


Dear Husband,

  No, of course not. However, apparently your wife does not think of marriage as a partnership, and expects you to support her.

  In this case I suggest both marriage and financial counselling for both of you. And as long as your wife is not contributing financially, it may become necessary to cut back on your lifestyle.