Dear Queenie,
My husband’s daughter (my stepdaughter) never finished her education, had several children with various boyfriends but never got married and has always depended on her father to help her out when she has financial problems.
He always tried to give her good advice about her problems, but she never listened, she just counted on him to help her when she needed it until he died a few years ago, and now she depends on me.
Queenie, now I am getting old, I have retired and am living on my pension. How long am I obliged to keep helping her out?—Ageing stepmother
Dear Stepmother,
You apparently have been fairly close to your stepdaughter over the years and now you are the only parent she has left. As you are getting older it would be good if you could rely on her to help you out when you need it, but obviously that is not how things are between you.
There must be some organisations in your area that could give her (some of) the kind of help you have been providing, and her children must be adults by now. So it is time for them to start taking on responsibility for their mother. And those same organisations should be there for you if/when you need their help.
