Mmmm, whatcha say

Mmm, that you only meant well?

Well of course you did

Mmmm, whatcha say

Mmmm, that it's all for the best?

Of course, it is.

So, I need to write my thoughts down quicker. Sometimes I  have a really good idea and then something else pops up and I lose it. The only thing I do remember is the feeling of having the lightbulb moment, which is nice, but also pretty pointless without the actual idea.

Moving on.

Have you ever tried protecting yourself and ended up causing someone around you the damage you were actually trying to avoid?

It’s like popping open an umbrella in the rain. You’re fine. You’re sheltered. However, the water that’s running off your umbrella sometimes wets the people around you, especially if they don’t have an umbrella of their own. If you both have umbrellas, their “wingspan” creates enough distance to keep your water away, but if they don’t have an umbrella they can pass right in your orbit and get wet.

It’s also like bracing for impact. Because I’m bigger than most of the guys I play flag football with, I reaaaaally try to avoid collisions with them. Most times if I see that a possible collision could happen, I stop way beforehand to avoid it. That doesn’t always happen though. We see each other a little too late and I brace for contact and SMACK. Now bracing for contact is similar to squeezing your fist, it makes it harder. So, me bracing for contact actually hurts the person I’m hitting even more, especially if they are not bracing themselves too.

I was talking to myself the other day in the car and realized something (that was only for dramatic effect, I was merely thinking). Then I was talking to cousin Safiyya on Tuesday and the “something” came back. Thankfully I wrote it out that time.

“Something”: There are situations in life when someone hurts us and it causes us to raise a forcefield or harden our hearts. More hurts equal higher forcefields or harder hearts. So basically, we’re protecting our hearts by preparing shields in the event that anyone tries to hurt us again.

Okay, cool.

A lot of the time hurt comes from people closest to us. (It’s really most times, because someone outside of your sphere of influence won’t impact you.) We learn to exercise reconciliation, repentance and relationship. Now if this person is just a douche bag, then by all means reconcile and cut them off. But sometimes we need to go further into the process and mend that relationship.

Much like using the umbrella and bracing for impact, we can now be causing people the hurt that we’re trying to avoid, because repentance and relationship is almost impossible with a forcefield up or a hardened heart. This person will be genuinely and wholeheartedly trying to mend the relationship, but your Fortress of Solitude goes into defence mode and shoots laser beams at them.

It’s hard, getting hurt. And it hurts getting hurt. We know very well the difference between a bum relationship and a real relationship that created hurt. As HARD as the task may be, we need to learn to use our umbrellas wisely, avoid collisions instead of bracing, and telling Clark to stand down with those damn lasers.

So many of these friendships and relationships are worth fighting for, and sometimes, worth the risk.

Okay, good.

*Cues Whatcha Say by Jason Derulo*