Our adult son still lives with us because he can’t afford to live on his own because he doesn’t have a good job. My wife won’t let me make him pay rent because, like I said, he doesn’t have a good job and she won’t even ask him to help around the house. She says it’s our responsibility to see that he doesn’t end up homeless or in prison.
Queenie, how can I get him to grow up?—Fed-up father
Your son will have absolutely no motivation to grow up as long as his mother continues to treat him like a child.
You should insist that he help around the house and pay a reasonable (as large as possible) portion of whatever he earns for rent and the food he eats. Perhaps having little or no pocket money left over will motivate him to try to get a better job and even (hopefully) move out.
If your wife gives you a hard time about all this, ask her what will become of him if he has not learned to live on his own when the time comes that you and she can no longer take care of him.