Dear Queenie,

My brothers and sisters and I are trying to plan a surprise party for our father who is about to turn 80. The problem is that we can’t agree on what kind of party to give him. Everyone has a different idea – night out at a restaurant, picnic on the beach, barbecue in someone’s back yard (but whose yard?) and so on.

Queenie, how do we decide before there is a major family feud?—Baffled

Dear Baffled,

Forget about the “surprise” party and ask your father what kind of bash he would prefer. After all, it is his birthday, so give him the kind of party he wants (if any!) rather than what you would like him to have.

Dear Queenie,

Lately I’ve noticed that my husband takes an awful long time going to the bathroom.

Queenie, what do suppose he’s doing in there?—Curious wife

Dear Curious,

He could be masturbating, or just reading a good book. Or he could be constipated, which could be a symptom of intestinal problem, or just having trouble passing his urine, which could be a symptom of a prostate problem.

Ask him about it. If it is one of the latter two possibilities a trip to the doctor would be highly advisable.

Dear Queenie,

I work full-time and my wife is a stay-at-home mom to our toddler son. She does a great job of taking care of the baby, cooking, laundry, paying the bills and fixes me a great lunch to take to work, but our house is always a mess.

It vexes me every time I have to pick up something she has left lying around. I have spoken to her many times about this but nothing gets any better.

Queenie, what more can I do?—Tidy husband

Dear Husband,

I have news for you: Your wife also has a (more than) full-time job taking care of the baby, cooking, laundry, paying the bills and fixing you a lunch to take to work.

What more can you do? Give her a day off once a week while you take over caring for your son, cooking and maybe doing some laundry and see how much time and energy you have left over for tidying up the place.

Then perhaps you should look into hiring some (at least part-time) help for her. And if you cannot afford to do so, you can either pitch in and do some tidying up yourself or let up on your expectations and stop being so critical.

Dear Queenie,
When my boyfriend and I are together he spends most of his time playing video games or watching TV and drinking beer until he falls asleep or wants sex and if I complain about being ignored he gets mad at me for being insecure.
Queenie, I love him and I don’t want to break his heart by breaking up with him but even when I’m with him I feel lonely.—Ignored girlfriend

Dear Ignored,
If your boyfriend’s TV or his game console breaks down it might break his heart, but he will scarcely notice your breaking up with him until he feels like having sex. If he really cared for you – or even just respected you – he would be more considerate of your feelings.
Dump this jerk and look for someone who at least has better manners.

Dear Queenie,

I suspect that my boyfriend doesn’t wash his hands after he uses the toilet. I never hear the water running after he flushes and his hands don’t feel cold or wet when he comes out of the bathroom. Other than that he’s just about everything I want in a man.

Queenie, should I say something to him? And how do I go about it?—Grossed out

Dear Grossed out,

Do you keep a bottle of hand-sanitiser in your bathroom? Either way, ask him what kind of sanitiser or soap he would like you to provide. Make it clear to him – tactfully – that you expect him wash carefully after using the toilet.

And if he still does not wash up, dump him before he passes E. coli or some other infection on to you!

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