Dear Queenie,

My boyfriend is divorced and his ex-wife doesn’t like me one little bit.

The ex’s brother died recently and my boyfriend wanted me to go to the funeral with him to be supportive. I said “no” because I felt things were bad enough for the ex and I didn’t want to make it worse.

Queenie, should I have gone for my boyfriend’s sake?—Funeral Etty Ket

Dear Etty Ket,

No, you did the right thing. Funerals are held for the sake of the bereaved. It would have been altogether wrong to do anything that would have made things worse for the ex and her family. If your boyfriend needed your support he could have gotten it at home.

Dear Queenie,

When we go to a restaurant that serves buffet-style my husband always takes extra food on purpose to take home with us.

He says it’s okay because we are paying for “all you can eat.” I say “all you eat” means “all you can eat while you are here (in the restaurant).”

Queenie, is he right or am I?—Buffet Etty Ket

Dear Etty Ket,

You are!

Dear Queenie,

My father went away to college after he got my mother pregnant and after he graduated he got a job in the United States and she never heard from him again.

Now I’m all grown up and married with children and he’s retired and he’s come back here to live and all of a sudden he wants to make up for lost time and get to know me and his grandkids.

Queenie, he didn’t care anything about me when I was growing up but now he expects me to be a loving son. How do I get him to just leave me alone like he has always done?—Not interested

Dear Not interested,

Tell him what you have told me. Repeat as often and as emphatically as necessary. However, you first might want to listen to his version of why he never kept in touch with you and your mother. You might learn something interesting, something that might change your poor opinion of him.

Dear Queenie,

I say it’s rude to start watching TV when you have company. My husband says it’s okay if the TV is on when the guests arrive.

Queenie, who is right?—TV Etty Ket

Dear Etty Ket,

Unless the guests were specifically invited to come to watch some special event on TV with you, it is rude to turn on the TV when you have guests, because it tells them the TV is more important than they are. And if the TV is already on when they arrive, the polite thing to do is to turn it off so you can visit with them undistracted – unless, as said, they were invited for the purpose of watching TV together with you.

Dear Queenie,

My son is what they call a chain-smoker and a careless one. He drops cigarette ash everywhere and there are burn holes in some of his clothes and his furniture. What’s worse is that he and his wife have small children and he smokes around them.

I’m worried that – God forbid! – he might start a fire or he will get cancer or lung disease from smoking and that the smoke might make his wife and their children sick too.

Queenie, is there anything I can do?—Worried mother

Dear Mother,

Have you talked to your son about your fears? If not, do so at once – for all the good it may do, because smoking is a very difficult addiction to break. However, there are many effective aids for those who want to break this habit. If he is willing to try, your son should consult his family doctor for suggestions.

And have a serious talk with your daughter-in-law too. As you say, her health and that of her children is also at risk and if your son is willing to make the effort to stop smoking her help and support could make the difference between

More Articles ...