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Dear Queenie,

  My son’s fiancée has teenage children and we have always done all we can to make them all feel like part of our family. But when they opened their Christmas gifts last year they just looked at them and put them down and never even said “Thank you”, and when I sent her a Mother’s Day card she said she doesn’t celebrate Mother’s Day anymore since her own mother died. And when she was in the hospital for a few days I sent her flowers, but she threw them away because they were not her favorite.

  When they got engaged I sent an engagement gift, but my son says she never even opened it. When they came to visit us I offered to help with the wedding plans, but she just said she would be making her own plans, not even “Thank you for the offer.”

  Queenie, what are we doing wrong?—Puzzled parents


Dear Parents,

  You are not doing anything wrong. Your son’s fiancée just seems rather rude and a little bit mean.

  Continue to be pleasant to her, but do not try to be close to her so she does not feel overpowered, keep your suggestions and opinions about the wedding to yourself, and try to find things to compliment her about.

  She is likely to be a difficult daughter-in-law. Hopefully, your son can get her to lighten up.

Queenie 20110520 fax OK BW