Dear Queenie,
My son gave his father, my ex-husband, a fancy shirt for his birthday. I recognized the shirt because it was one I had given my son for Christmas a couple of years ago and I had taken a lot of time trying to find one I thought he would like. I didn’t say anything about any of this, but it’s not the first time he has passed on some gift we have given him. Once he even gave my husband, his stepfather, something I had given him previously.
Queenie, I find this insulting. Should I say something, or just stop giving him things?—Offended mother
Dear Mother,
Your son may have forgotten who gave him these items, or he may be short of money to buy something when he wants to give a gift. Look at it this way: If you had given him money as a gift, would you be offended if he spent the money you gave him on a gift for you or for someone else?
If you want to make sure he cannot re-gift whatever you give him, give him something he cannot pass on to someone else, like a fancy dinner at a restaurant or a night with you at the movies or some other event.
