Dear Queenie,
I’ve been dating the same guy since we were in university, a couple of years now. Now we have both graduated and I have a good job but he hasn’t found one yet.
I would like to take things a step further and let people know that we are together, just us two, not dating anyone else, but he says he’s not ready for that yet, even though he actually is not going out with anyone else.
Queenie, should I wait for him to be “ready for that” or give up and start looking for someone else?—Can’t decide
Dear Can’t decide,
If the two of you have been “going steady”, as we used to call it, for a couple of years, you are already “in a relationship”, even if your boyfriend doesn’t want to call it that. But apparently he thinks doing so would make it somehow officially binding on him, sort of a “pre-engagement”, and is not ready to even think about anything more permanent (marriage).
Until he is ready to make some sort of commitment, you will have to decide whether – and how long – you are willing to wait for him.
