Concerned daughter

Dear Queenie,

  My family has stopped inviting my mother to family occasions because she says mean things and hurts their feelings. I live abroad and don’t see her or talk to her very often and she is always nice to me, but she does say mean things about the others. She thinks they should respect her for her age if nothing else.

  I think they should put up with her behaviour and invite her to important family events.

  Queenie, what do you think?—Concerned daughter


Dear Daughter,

  Your mother is suffering the consequences of her behaviour. She should promise the rest of your family that she will watch what she says and behave better in future, and your family should give her a chance by inviting her to at least the most important family events. But if she does not live up to her promises, they cannot be blamed for excluding her again.