Dear Queenie,
I married a man who had been divorced for several years and moved into his house that he had owned since his first marriage. The house is in his mane and he pays the mortgage and I pay the utility bills.
His things all remind me of his ex-wife, and I would like to have some things of my own or that we chose together, but he wouldn’t let me bring any of my things into the house or buy anything new because he said he already had everything we need, even though some of my things are in better condition than his things, so we put my things in storage, which I pay for.
Queenie, have I made a big mistake?—Dissatisfied wife
Dear Wife,
Your husband seems to want to be in full control of things instead of in a partnership where mutual decisions are made. Explain to him how unhappy this makes you and ask him to go with you for counselling to work on improving matters. If he will not go with you, go alone for help in learning how to deal with your situation and what you can do about it, and deciding what you want to do.
And think about this: If he treated his ex-wife the way he treats you, his things would have been all his, not hers, and should not remind you so much of her.
