Dear Queenie,
I’ve been going with my new girlfriend for about a month now and I’ve discovered that she lies a lot. The funny thing is, she lies about stupid things that don’t matter, and things that I am sure to find out the truth about.
Like, if we go to a new restaurant and I ask if she likes the food she says yes, but the next time I want to go there she says no, she doesn’t like the place. Or she says she is going to spend the afternoon at home, and then I meet her on the street with some other friends. Or she says she paid $20 for something and then I see the price tag and it says $25. OrI mention a book or a movie I’ve seen and she says she has seen it too, but then in the conversation it is clear that she doesn’t really know anything about it.
She’s very pretty and she has a great figure, but I don’t like the idea that I can’t trust her or that she thinks I’m so stupid as to believe her lies.
Queenie, why does she do this?— Puzzled
Dear Puzzled,
She may be a compulsive liar, which is a psychological condition that takes much therapy to overcome.
She may be a very timid person who is afraid of confrontation, so she says what she thinks the other person wants to hear, to avoid arguments.
She may feel insecure, and “fooling” other people makes her feel somehow “superior” to them.
She may simply be a deliberately deceitful person who cannot and should not be trusted.
In the first three cases, she can be helped through counselling and psychological therapy and you can help her by encouraging her to get the help she needs. You might also go for some counselling yourself, to help you understand her problem.
In the fourth case, however, I am sorry to say that she probably doesn’t want to be helped, and you are probably better off without her.
