My sister’s husband seems like a very nice guy, but my sister talk to me about her problems and I’m not so sure about him. He got rid of all her pets after they got married and he was so mean to her children from her first marriage that the kids had to go live with their father and his new wife.
Queenie, how can we go on liking him and being nice to him when he is treating his own family that way?—Worried Sister
Abusers and control freaks often can put on a very nice face for outsiders while they are mistreating their own families in private.
Do not try to discuss all this with your brother-in-law, as he may turn his bad side on you, but you should continue to offer your sister support when she asks for it.
You should also suggest she try to get professional counselling to help her deal with her situation and decide what she wants to do about it.
And be prepared to help her carry out her decision(s).