By Charlie Emilia
This millennial content creator, social media geek, part-time healthy person and now first-time mom is coming back to her original roots as a writer. Formerly a radio show, “Chill Out with Charlie” was a peek into my life and what I had going on. Since leaving the airwaves, my journey has taken an extreme turn. For updates on what’s been happening, sit back and chill out with me as I navigate these new paths in a whole new way.
The discovery
Taking my first pregnancy test was the most eerie thing I’ve ever done. Yes, as women, we all have those moments when we’ve been plagued with a “pregnancy scare” due to miscalculating. We’ve all run to the nearest source for a test and sat in a bathroom letting anxiety wash over us: What if? Is this? How? When? With him? Three minutes is a long time to be mulling in existential woe. Usually, it’s followed by a single line, meaning you can go about your daily tasks. Sometimes it’s sad, because you’re ready enough for this to be a reality. Other times, it’s the biggest sigh of relief, because we live to mess up another day.
Having been so early along when I got double lines, one of the lines was very faint. What does this even mean? I ran downstairs to my mother and basically splattered her with my pee, demanding she explain what was going on. Her face morphed into a variety of emotions until it settled with understanding. Thankfully, she’s done this before. Having 11 grandchildren, she knew – faint or not – what those lines meant.
But if we’re being real, I sort of knew it couldn’t have been anything but positive. For two weeks prior to the tests, my body had been gradually plagued by what I initially thought was a food demon. My sense of smell was aggressively heightened. This wasn’t normal for me, as my entire life I’d suffered from sinusitis and smelling was not one of my best attributes. When that increased, so did my gag reflex. Never having been an overly squeamish person, this was completely new territory for me. Vegetables tasted foul and quinoa took on a bitter tinge. If the slightest wind blew close to my breast, I could feel it. I was in a prison of my own senses.
The first trimester
The beginning few days, I found solace in privacy. I was already set in my mind that if I’d allowed myself to be confident about my pregnancy too early on, I’d somehow sabotage myself. I did tell my very close friends and family, but I had to give them strict instructions not to leak the information. I was still thinking about what could possibly happen with body and I didn’t want to have to live with explaining about a miscarriage after all of that. Thankfully, they understood and kept quiet.
I had all-day nausea, which is crappy, because I had to be in the Carnival Village every night smelling the grills and various people – and it’s honestly a sensory overload. I fell asleep constantly. Regularly, I’m a restless person and will be up into all hours of the night, but in this case, I found myself falling asleep on my hand while I was in the middle of conversations. My breasts remained in a swollen, untouchable state and for some reason, I could taste cement in my mouth. My equilibrium was off and heights would make me queasy.
As someone, who lives with anxiety, this was a very new experience for me, and because a lot of my coping mechanisms have to do with preparation, I was thrown through an emotional whirlwind. However, according to my sister, I became much more rational. There was crying, but it was mainly about my favourite food places running out of food, or finally getting what I wanted to eat; and puppies – I cried about puppies.
The second trimester
This is what I call the best and worst trimester all in one. By the time I got here, my belly had only just begun to pop out in a more noticeable way. Most people only speculated, but others were brave enough to ask me outright. Some got straight answers, others got vague responses designed to annoy and confuse. Most of that time was spent packing my pre-pregnancy clothes away and watching my wardrobe dwindle to stretchy pants and dresses that could successfully disguise my bump.
My outfits are always very haphazard, so seeing me dress in an oversized T-shirt wasn’t out of the ordinary. At this point, I wasn’t hiding, but there was so much comfort in it just being my baby and me – no intrusive questions, no grabbing at my belly and no constant comments about my size. That would come later.
I loved getting my energy back! I did so much – maybe too much – but I was in quite a bit of pain during this time, and because I thought it was normal, I just kept working through the pain. Figuring that this was just the effect of my fibroids, I distracted myself with work. Who was I to complain about a little or even a lot of pain? I was down to endure it as long as my body would allow. This also contributed to why I was so sceptical to tell everyone about my pregnancy.
It was around my midway mark that I had to be admitted to the hospital. Without going into too much detail, I’ll say it was a pretty scary experience. If you’re like me and don’t like to complain about pain, going through a pregnancy is NOT the time to keep up those habits. Make sure to check in with your doctor, especially if your pain gets to a level of it being difficult to walk. I spent a few days in the hospital being chided for not taking better care of myself, and being told that if I cared about my baby, I’d take it easy.
Honestly, that’s the worst thing about the whole hospital stay – having to hear how much I should have been doing when I just thought I was being brave and not complaining. This remained a theme throughout my pregnancy, especially after my belly really popped and I couldn’t hide any longer; people telling me what’s best for me and if I didn’t listen to them, it could harm my baby. There is no response I can write that wouldn’t get me flagged for profanity, but let’s just say that’s the part of pregnancy I will miss the least. It also makes me wary of what motherhood will be like.
The third trimester
My third trimester is still happening, and my body now seems to be going through the most changes. Stay tuned for the next Health & Beauty to read the full scoop on my third trimester!
Make sure to follow me on Facebook.com/LikeCharlieEmilia or my Instagram Chvrl13. I’m open to questions, comments and any concerns you may have about your own health. But please remember I am not a doctor. My column is strictly for entertainment and although I may try my utmost to give accurate information, it should in no way replace a visit to your healthcare provider. Until next time, drive safely!
