For as long as I can remember, words have been the centre of my existence. Words are art to me. I have never been able to wield an actual paintbrush (no, seriously, I failed Arts & Crafts in elementary school) so reading and writing have been my paintbrushes to create new worlds.
Over the past few years, I’ve written a number of pieces on behalf of others. I’ve pushed out dozens of press releases, created website copy and written major policy documents, but very rarely, if ever, was my name in the by-line. While a few people are able to spot my voice, for the most part, I’ve silently written on behalf of others and I’ve been pretty okay with that.
It wasn’t until this past August that I felt an overwhelming sense to openly share my personal thoughts as my own. I wrote a reflection piece on the first anniversary of Hurricane Irma’s destruction in the Caribbean and I felt like I had to put my name to that piece. I had to stand behind my words. It was the first time I was hitting publish as Maki Brooks.
Sending the piece off to this newspaper was both gratifying and terrifying. I was scared crapless about what the response would be, but I was also proud of myself for working up the courage to do it. The next day when the piece was published, I felt nothing but pride. The worries about feedback were gone. I had done it and I didn't care about the response because I was proud of me. Submitting that singular article was one of the most liberating things I’d ever done. I consciously hit submit and shared my words. I did something that terrified me and it was amazing.
That feeling, which some may say was self-centred, inspired me. I wanted to continue to share in an open and honest way. I wanted to be real and I wanted to continue to hit publish – which brings me here. This is my space to share in an honest way. It’s where I will open up about my discoveries of the world and of myself. As I write this, I think of myself as a practical 29-year-old water-, wine- and whiskey-drinking new homeowner, who also happens to be a travel-loving, cost-averse vegetarian (and occasional social pescatarian) DIY-er, who cohabitates with an amazing life partner.
I, like so many people, am a bundle of different things without necessarily being contradictory. For example, I love to travel, always have, but when homeownership became an immediate short-term goal, travel had to be put on the back burner. Similarly, while I think of myself as being very practical, I’ve done some pretty ridiculous things like scale a building to get to a Christmas tree (not my brightest, but definitely one of my best moments).
I’m happily a little all over the place, trying to navigate my own space. I go where the wind blows me, but I also stay in my lane. I love the excitement of a new experience, but also appreciate the comforts of home. I love to push myself, but also try to be gentle with the person in the mirror. To put it simply, I’m at the intersection of learning to be kind to myself, learning to repurpose just about everything under the sun and opening myself up to new adventures – all while balancing my check book – what can I say, my life is a busy intersection.
This intersection, as busy as it is, is just one small piece of the amazing journey that I believe my life is on. But while I’m excited about the journey, I’m trying to not be too obsessed about where it will take me; I just want to stay the course. This is the journey of me making myself – making Maki. This is me digging deep to discover myself and the things I enjoy. This is my space to have my intricacies and nuances meet. This is where I hit publish and move past my comfort zone and hopefully help someone out along the way.
This is me finding my own freedom; I hope you’ll find yours too.
