Don’t hold on too tight!

By Roxanne

In the 2006 chart-topper “Doing Too Much,” desperate for newfound love to last, a naïve Paula Deanda sweetly sang, “I’m leaving messages and voicemails, telling you I miss you. Baby, am I doing too much?”

We know this girl, we have gossiped about this girl or we have been this girl at some point in our love lives. As women, we sometimes desire to have a man so badly that we try to rush the comfort that comes with a naturally developing relationship. Unfortunately, that desire can read as desperation and make potential boyfriend material duck for cover.

It happens sometimes. We get insecure. Something trips our radar and we can’t help but feel as though our guy is pulling away from us. Problem is, the more you push your guy, trying to get closer, the further he likely wants to be from you.

Here are some signs you might have a little bit of a clingy-problem:

1. Every message on his Facebook wall from the last three weeks is from you.
2. When he doesn’t text you back immediately, you begin to call him; then his mother; then his best friend.
3. You insist on reading his emails, texts, and IM conversations.
4. You demand that he not have any female friends.
5. You expect that every waking moment be spent together.
6. You crash guys’ night out.
7. You refer to his relatives as “in-laws” and try to force yourself into the family.
8. You take over all of his household chores, take his laundry to the dry-cleaner, and make him lunches for work – every day.
9. When he’s not at his desk, you call the front office and demand that they page him; just because you wanted to talk.
10. You never see your friends because you’re always with your guy.
11. You’re talking about weddings and baby names on date #3.
12. You want his approval with everything you do in your life, from household cleaning products to the colour of your toenails.

If you’re clingy, then you’re the kind of person who gets obsessed with a new person the moment you meet, whether you’re making friends or dating. After that, you’re likely to call the person constantly, ask to hang out all the time and feel sad or abandoned if you have to spend some time alone. If you’ve exhibited some of this behaviour, or if the people in your life have asked you to give them space, then you need to work on improving yourself and your approach to relationships.

Being an overbearing girlfriend is not sexy, not even a little. It’s one of the quickest ways to go from hot to not!