Making Maki is the home of Maki B. It’s where all of life’s parts meet. Figuring out the work-life balance, managing finances, navigating relationships, finding the things that give us joy, appreciating life’s journey and caring for ourselves along the way. Making Maki isn’t about finding any particular thing; it’s about always searching for the best versions of ourselves and making the most of all of life’s lessons and opportunities.
I’ve been waiting for my 30th birthday for at least two years. On my 28th birthday, I walked out of my celebratory dinner feeling a bit down. Birthdays are more about reflection than celebration and my reflections didn’t put me in a mood to dance all night or pop bottles of sparkling water. I had that stuck in neutral feeling and couldn’t shake it. So rather than fight it, I embraced it because what is hurtful can also be helpful. From that day, I decided that my 30th birthday would be an amazing celebration of milestones hit. I’d live purposely and avoid complacency. I’d do and do until I was done.
I’d like to say that I held on to that gusto for two years straight, but that wouldn’t be very true. I held on to it tightly for about four or five weeks and then it slipped away and left me in Lull-landia for about five months before I pulled myself out. Yes, I know - I clearly didn’t understand how life-decisions and -commitments work. I was 28, but now I’m 30 and I can truly say that I kinda get it now.
This 30th birthday of mine brought one important lesson that I really needed – birthdays are like New Year’s Day. While January 1 may look like a doorway to something new, it’s really just another day. The most that it can be is an easy to identify marker to measure how much we’ve grown or accomplished in 365 days. We may celebrate the transition from one year to another in our own ways, but I’ve found that almost everyone says, “I hope this New Year brings...” or “This year, I’m going to...” These are great and all, but are we committing to them?
Birthdays are the same. We generally don’t forget our birthdays so we can use that day as our personal markers. We can set goals for the 365 days between birthdays and reflect and measure it all. The personal challenges that I had on the last day of my 20s are the same challenges that I had on the first day of my 30s. My skin didn’t suddenly clear up and my bills didn’t suddenly disappear. I wasn’t five pounds lighter and I wasn’t suddenly able to run a marathon. Nothing changed from one day to the next, but I know that if I commit myself to any goal and work consistently, I can have something to celebrate at the end of my year.
My goals for my 30th birthday were personal and I think I did pretty okay. I wanted to learn to celebrate my wins and learn from my losses while being kinder to myself. I hoped to take control of my life and honour myself by living freely on my own terms. Three weeks into 30, and I have to say that while I haven’t mastered any of those things, I’m on the path and that’s worth celebrating.
Before I close out this personal literary celebration, I want to mention the main reason I’m happy to say that I’m 30. While age is inconsequential to me, ageism is real. I entered my first full-time job at the age of 24. I was always the youngest in the room and that never bothered me, except in the instances where men referred to me as a little girl. In a few cases, I had older women call out the foolishness and I’m grateful for them. When you’re 24 and haven’t found your voice, it’s difficult to feel confident in yourself. By the time I hit 26, I knew I could hold my own and I began to, but people still had a strong reaction when they heard my age.
Thankfully, I haven’t had any issues in the last few years, but I know others who still struggle. This isn’t to say that I was better than anyone else in the room; it’s simply to say that being a young professional is hard enough without our seniors belittling us because of our age. Cut us some slack and respect our abilities so that we can thrive together.
