“Tell me that You'll never let me down (Down)
Down (Down)
'Cause You're my final breath before I drown (Drown)
Drown (Drown)”
I’m not exactly sure, but I think it was about two weeks ago that I wrote about being a bit frustrated. COVID-19 just came in and it’s attempting to take over the steering wheels of our lives and that just “ain’t gon cut it.”
So many plans gone to defecate – I mean I’d be getting ready to head to New York right now. My friends, my family, AND my tattoo artists (please insert a crying emoji for your boy). Even while being here, I have to limit the number of shoots I’m doing because of CORONAVIRUS. As for my jobs, these I still do, but while keeping my mask on and my hands to myself. But those shoots that I do just to keep my juices flowing and portfolio glowing have been on a minimum. People out here not taking this thing seriously – and that’s another thing that just “ain’t gon cut it.”
All of that being said, I have noticed that the frustration I was feeling a few weeks back has multiplied, and I find myself doing shadow punching way too often – even in public…Lol. Imagine seeing me walking perfectly fine (I mean I’m also perfectly fine... eh heh... wink...wink) and then out of nowhere, I throw 1-2-6 combo into the air. (If you don’t know what that means, it’s a jab, cross, uppercut – basically, I’m punching the air, okay.)
Something else I’ve noticed is the availability of some of my old coping mechanisms that I’m trying not to go back to. You know like when you decide to lose weight and miraculously there are free cupcakes everywhere you go? Or when you’re trying to stop drinking and find that someone has replaced all the Heavenly Water dispensers with Vodka? (That was an overdo; but a pretty good one nonetheless.)
That’s been my life recently. Everywhere I go people wanna know who we are, so we tell them: “We are the Tigers. Mighty, mighty Tigers.” Really, Cam? LOL
But, honestly, there’s been a lot of temptation around me of late to handle my frustration in a manner that I wouldn’t want to. Well, more like shouldn’t want to, if I’m being honest. It’s temporary and it has negative ripple effects. I’m just not here for it.
What I’ve done, though, is reinforced some of the good habits I’ve picked up over the years that have effectively helped me to cope. I’m making small plans/goals (never been a big planner). I’m letting my friends know where I’m at so they can help keep me accountable. Having amazing friends is amazing. Also letting my friends know so that they can keep me in prayer. All the “physical” tactics are effective, but ignoring the spiritual tactics won’t get you as far.
Things are looking up. I’m not out of the funk as yet, but I’m being proactive about it... nipping it in the bud type of vibes. You smell me?
I should make a Vision Board.
Oh, COVID, your mum, yeah!?
*Yo, Siri, play Drown by Lecrae ft. John Legend*
