I ain't have no role models,
Now I gotta be one
I bought the lie hip-hop sold me,
Man I want a refund
Usually, these pieces are written in one go. I’d sit for about 10 minutes to let my thoughts marinate, then I’d just let them flow and type. That helps me to feel like what I’m saying is the most genuine, not like I’m creating a piece to please any one reader. Of course, this sometimes makes my writing a bit (or extremely) informal, maar ehh.
Over the years, I’ve found that I relate to a lot of Andy Mineo’s music. Music is great to me when the artists are real and put themselves in the music. When I can relate to you, you go on “the list”. In 2014, Andy released “Death of Me” on his album Never Land. When I heard him say, “I ain't have no role models, now I gotta be one”, that kind of shook me up a bit. It was something I had felt for a long time and had never really put into words until then. Honestly, that feeling is still very real to today.
Thinking about it, there’s a bit of anger, frustration and “self-consciousness” behind the whole role model topic for me. Let me touch on each of those really quickly, so that you can get back to work and put the newspaper away.
There is some anger behind the topic of role models for me mainly because I didn’t have one. Well, I had, but they were not exactly tangible. Not having that person I could physically see and talk to made me angry, because my genius behind knew that wasn’t how it should be.
There is some frustration behind the topic of role models for me, because I had to do and learn so much on my own. You’d end up getting in trouble and meeting obstacles along the way, because you’re trying to figure this out on your own. Needless to say, I’ve punched a lot of walls and doors in my life. Lol.
There is some “self-consciousness” behind the topic of role models for me because I never saw myself as good enough to be someone’s role model. I have always been stupid hard on myself feeling like I could do so much better, so much so that I tend to push away people who cling to me as a role model figure.
Now that I think that I have your attention, we will go into this a little deeper next week.
*Cues Death of Me by Andy Mineo*
