“Say what you mean
Spell it out for me, what you mean
Say what you mean
Tell me what you want from me"
Small rant or whatever.
I strongly believe that people should be able to say what they mean and mean what they say.
I understand that a person can have underlying issues that affect their decision-making in some way, shape or form. However, even if that were the case, when you come to the realization that you made a decision for the “wrong reasons”, you should be able to own up to that.
You should NOT blame “Person B” or treat them as if they did something wrong because of how they reacted to what YOU had said.
If I, Cameron, say that I want vanilla ice cream, but deep down I really wanted chocolate, it would be crazy for me to be upset with the person who handed me vanilla ice cream when that’s what I had said I wanted. Even if it takes me 30 minutes to really realize, “Hey, you know I honestly wanted chocolate; I don’t know why I made the decision to go with vanilla.” That person who handed me what I asked for is still not at fault. I shouldn’t harbour any type of bad feelings towards the innocent ice cream server.
And I get it. It could have been the high of a moment; it could have been based on some other factors, such as being hopeful, but in no situation is “Person B” to blame. Ever.
Let’s put it into the perspective of a guy and a girl. Male asks his female friend to platonically catch a movie together. Yes, male made it clear that it was platonic. Male should be able to pick up female, go to the movies, buy her ticket (food would be asking for too much…LOL), sit next to her, drop her home when the movie ends AND not have to think about anything else outside of that. Male shouldn’t now be a douche bag because he didn’t text her good morning the next day.
If female friend knew she had feelings beforehand and did not say anything; if she knew she couldn’t handle seeing a movie with a platonic friend – to whom she had never confessed she had feelings for – and saw this as an opportunity to apply hope and elevate this friendship to another level, her male friend should not have to be concerned with ANY of that mess! The only thing he has to be concerned with is what he knows, which is that a platonic request was placed on the table and she signed it.
And, bro, even if female had thought that she could handle the platonic situation and it turned out that she couldn’t, she has to do one of two things: Tell her male friend or keep it to herself. Things happen and feelings change, we’re human, but mamzelle has to decide what she’s going to do with this new information – AND it shouldn’t be that she keeps it to yourself and treats me like I played with her heart strings – nuh – it’s keep it to yourself and treat me fairly like nothing changed, fam.
Imagine male enters into a contract with female where he has to bring her 30 glass bottles. Boom! Contract signed. Male brings the 30 bottles as per the contract and now the female is telling everyone that male does bad business. Why? Because female wanted the 30 bottles to come filled with water. Wooooooooooooooiiiiii, look my crossings! “Pleece" come and explain this to me! Male is a bad businessman because he did not meet the expectations that female had in her head?!! The expectation that she had not mentioned on contract day, nor had she called and requested it!
Mother’s milk…
And this goes both ways nuh. Males out here thirstier than ever, lol. But this is just my perspective as a male myself. I’ve just seen somethings first-hand and heard some stories and it’s really crazy how people project their exceptions on you, especially when they are not communicating those expectations.
As humans, we need to understand that we cannot treat people based on the expectations or fantasies that we have in our heads – that is absolutely unfair to the other person. Say what you mean, say what you want – and stick to it. Don’t be wishy-washy. And don’t use people’s honesty to manipulate them or situations.
FOH (Friends over hobos?)
*Siri, play Say What You Mean by Sinead Harnett*
