“My man is my man is your man
Heard that's her man too?
My man is my man is your man
Heard that's her man?
Tuesday and Wednesday, Thursday and Friday
I just keep him satisfied through the weekend.”
Alright. So, my aim is to make this rant as objective as possible. Keep the emotions in check, Cam, keep them in check. [Coordinator’s note: I haven’t read this and I really hope he does, but let’s see where this goes.]
There’s this friend who introduced me to this chart climbing song called “The Weekend” by SZA. The song is basically an inside look at the life of a woman who shares a man. In an interview for Vulture, SZA noted, “In that song, I’m opting in. Like, I know you have a bunch of girls, probably. Maybe you’re not being honest with me – I just know that you have mad girls – and I still don’t care, because I didn’t want to be your girlfriend anyway! “You’re just out here wildin’.”
This song irks my soul almost more than knowing both the dumps are on fire and the chances of me being poisoned are very, very real. It irritates me for a personal reason, as well as the fact that it’s so easily misinterpreted and misused. But because of me wanting to be honest and unbiased, SZA isn’t completely to blame and I do understand her perspective. [Coordinator: Oh boy]
“You say you got a girl
And how you want me
How you want me when you got a girl?
The feelin' is reckless
Of knowin' you're selfish n
Knowin' I'm desperate
Gettin' all in your love
Fallin' all over love
I do it to last, last.”
When my friend first played the song and had me listen to it, it annoyed me. [Coordinator: lol, he’s not saying ‘annoyed’, I had to clean this up. Let’s continue.] Beyond that, there was a feeling of hurt that stayed with me after the initial two emotions faded. Why was she okay chanting this? Why would any woman make this song? Why would you make this song that is now alternately known as the “side chick anthem”? It was hard to comprehend. And looking over at this beautiful, intelligent young lady next to me, my brain just couldn’t figure out why she wouldn’t want more for herself. How could she be okay with being an option? How could she be okay with being a side piece? [Coordinator: I have spoken to him about feminism and the importance of a woman being able to choose how she celebrates her sexuality.]
These days, it’s not even a side chick or a side piece like at KFC. You want that “mash pah-Tay-toh”, you want that macaroni and you definitely want that corn. These days, it’s side pieces like lettuce. If it comes with my order, then I’ll take it. Why not? It looks good to have some lettuce on my plate, looking all healthy. We all know you’re going to leave that lettuce right there on that plate. You might grab a leaf for good measure, or you might get some spicy food and need to cool it down. But “ain’t nobady want no lettuce.” Bring it back, Cam, bring it back. [Coordinator: aww, Cam]
Let me explain what SZA really meant. The song is indeed about three [Coordinator: or more] women sharing one man. However, some fans interpreted the lyrics to be about dating a taken man on the weekend and allowing his girlfriend to have him for the remaining days, SZA explained that the interpretation isn’t quite right. On twitter she said:
“@sza My man is MY man Is YOUR man heard that’s HER man too: that’s three women ... not two… all getting played. One opted out. No side chick. Sorry lol”
After doing some research [Coordinator: you’re welcome] and hearing her perspective on the song, it made me a bit more at ease with it. She was not glorifying being a side piece, but more so just saying that she has no problem getting hers. She’s not coming between relationships or falling in love. She’s using “her man”, who’s also “your man,” and is probably someone else’s man too. Though this is not my moral preference and it goes against my opinions on relations, I can respect her opinion and choice. (Thanks for clarify after the fact, SZA.)
“I gotta say I'm in the mood for a little bit more of that
I mean I'm saying what kind of deal's just two days?
I need me at least 'bout four of them
More of them, more of you on me
On us, just tell me you want me, yeah.”
In the above lyrics, SZA pines for more time with her love interest. While she knows her stance on her relations, in an easily influenced media driven society, it paints such a misleading picture.
Her simply wanting a larger piece of the pie that she’s sharing, gave so many women a thirst for more attention from a man that is not hers. It re-annoys [Coordinator: we’ve spoken about him creating new words.] me that all these young ladies are using this song to validate or glorify them being with another woman’s man, or accepting being a booty call for some guy who’s unhappy in his current relationship, or having a side-chick Valentine’s Day on February 15. It bothers me more than I can probably express in writing.
If you’re not down for commitment and you want to have timeshares, again, although it’s not my preference, I respect that. However, if you’re looking for commitment or love, don’t look for it in someone who’s obviously willing to disrespect their current commitment with you. And I know, I know, sometimes you get caught off-guard, but like “they” always say, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.”
To all the little flowers: You’re beautiful, intelligent, and worth so much. Don’t be some guy’s lettuce. [Coordinator: I don’t endorse excessive use of emotion, but I do agree that a woman should know her worth. If it means having multiple partners, do so on your terms and don’t let others dictate your happiness.]
Cues Maxwell - Pretty Wings
[Coordinator: cues Kwabs – Pray for Love]
