Dear Queenie,
My wife has spoiled our son rotten. I have a very good job and we have made some very good investments, so we are very well-off for money.
Our son seems to think we are as rich as Donald Trump and gets angry if we do not give him as much money as he wants. When we bought my wife a new car he expected us to buy him one too – a very expensive one! – instead of giving him his mother’s old one. He has a part-time job, but it pays very little, so he asks us to pay for the insurance and buy him gas.
Queenie, what will it take to get him to stop mooching off us?—Fed-up father
Dear Father,
Your son will continue to mooch off you for as long as you permit him to get away with it. The only thing that will stop him is for you and your wife to turn off the money faucet and learn to say “NO!” – and stick to it – when he asks for something.
If your son is 18 years or older he is legally an adult and you are no longer obligated to pay for his room and board, education, transportation, clothing, etc. Make sure he understands this clearly, explain to him exactly what you expect of him financially and otherwise, and be prepared to take the necessary measures – such as taking away his car and even throwing him out of your home – if he does not start living up to your expectations. And be prepared for him to take at least a little while to learn to do so.
