Dear Queenie,
I had a short affair with a man I know from work. I ended it right away when my husband found out.
My husband said he forgave me and I thought that was the end of it, but we haven’t had sex since he found out about the affair. We never had sex very much before that, which was part of why I got involved with the other man, but since my husband found out about the affair we haven’t had sex at all. Never!
My husband says he loves me and forgives me for the affair and just isn’t interested in sex anymore.
Queenie, should I believe him? Is this what things will be like from now on?—Frustrated wife
Dear Wife,
It could be that your husband is still angry about the affair, even though he says he has forgiven you.
However, because you say he did not have sex with you very often even before the affair, it is possible that he has some physical problem. Encourage him to have a complete physical check-up, including tests of his hormone levels (especially testosterone).
Professional counselling for both of you, separately and/or together, might also help.
