Dear Queenie,
My mother-in-law takes care of my children, her grandchildren, when I am at work. When she can’t for some reason, she has her other son, my husband’s brother, look after them. I don’t like this because he is not a responsible person and he smokes pot a lot.
Queenie, do I have to accept this or, without being rude, how do I tell her not to do it?—Worried mother
Dear Mother,
Tell your mother-in-law how much you appreciate her watching your children, and ask her to tell you when she cannot do it so that you can make another arrangement. If she asks you why, tell her frankly that it is because you are (validly!) concerned about having your brother-in-law do it and, if necessary, explain why.
