Dear Queenie,
I have been invited to the wedding of 2 people who both have children from previous marriages. In addition to the usual gift registry, there was one for children’s things.
Queenie, is this something new?—Gift Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
I have not heard of it before, but I suppose it is a good idea for a couple who have all the household items they need, but have growing children who need things they would rather receive.
Give them what you prefer. The registry is a suggestion, not an iron-clad order.
Dear Queenie,
When my mother’s boyfriend’s son stays with us I have to share my bedroom with him and I’m expected to spend time with him and take him with me to whatever I’m going to do. He’s supposed to be visiting his father but his father is usually busy with his work or going out with his pals so it’s up to me to keep his son entertained.
The son is not the kind of person I would normally have as a friend and none of my friends know him, so I get stuck with him and miss out on whatever I otherwise would have been doing.
Queenie, this isn’t fair!—Fed up
Dear Fed up,
You are right, this is not fair to you – or to the other boy involved. Talk to you mother about it, and to her boyfriend if he is approachable. He is supposed to be interacting with his son, not using you as a babysitter.
Dear Queenie,
My girlfriend just got a job in the same department where I work and I will be her supervisor.
Queenie, she doesn’t like it when she thinks I am bossing her around at home, so how do you think she will take it at work and how can I deal with it?—Boyfriend/boss
Dear Boyfriend/boss,
Your girlfriend needs to understand that on the job she is just another employee and should not expect any special treatment from you because of your outside-or-work relationship.
Discuss this with her in advance, in private, and if she cannot accept the fact, she should look for a transfer to another department or another job altogether.
Dear Queenie,
I’ve been having an affair with a married man that I used to live with before he got married to someone else. I have asked him to leave his wife but he says it would have too many legal complications.
Queenie, if I tell his wife do you think she will throw him out so I can have him?—The other woman
Dear Other woman,
This man will never leave his wife for you. He wants to have his “cake” and eat it too, and it is very likely that even if she threw him out he would soon start cheating on you the same way he is now cheating on her.
Send him home to his wife and start looking for a man who will deserve your love.
Dear Queenie,
My husband is always talking about other women he sees. He comments on how good they look and how smart they are and what nice personalities they have. Even when he is out with me he stares at other women and comments about them.
If I complain that he is disrespecting me he apologises, but he doesn’t stop doing it.
Queenie, do you think he is cheating on me behind my back?—Worried wife
Dear Wife,
I do not think he is cheating, or he (I hope!) would have the sense to be more secretive about his ogling and his comments. Nevertheless, you are right that this is disrespectful to both you and your marriage and to the other women involved.
Ask him to go with you for professional counselling to find out why he does it and how he can learn to modify this offensive behaviour.
