I have a friend who just found out that she has a learning disability. She attended a lower academic high school but always "felt" she was smart even though her grades didn't always show it. In trying to attain higher education, she was approached by an educator who suggested she get checked for dyslexia. She did, and found out that she did in fact have this disability. The problem now is that she has become very sad and wants to give up her education all together.
How do I get my friend to understand that it is a good thing that she now knows that she has this, because she can work through it; and that many people have it and are very successful and smart; even famous people like Whoopi Goldberg.
Concerned Friend
Dear Concerned Friend,
It is nice to see that you care so much for your friend. For everybody, and with every disability, hearing your diagnosis can bring up many different emotions. Even if you've privately suspected there was a problem for some time, hearing the diagnosis from a doctor or specialized professional can still be troubling.
It sounds like your friend has some problems accepting her diagnosis and experiences a loss of control and hope. This is quite common as a first reaction, and it is okay to take some time to get adjusted to the idea of having to cope with the problem the rest of your life. However, this feeling should not affect your life in a way that it will negatively impact your functioning, like your friend wants to give up studying.
I agree with you that knowing your diagnosis will only bring benefits in the long term: It can explain why there was a feeling of being different or having trouble in certain areas, and only with a diagnosis a suitable treatment can be found, especially concerning learning disorders like dyslexia. Although they will never disappear, using a different approach, having certain adjustments in school, and practicing with specific techniques and exercises can significantly decrease the difficulties.
The way the health professional investigated the problem and explained the diagnosis can also have a big impact on how she feels about it. Maybe when your friend just heard the diagnosis, she was too much in shock to carefully listen. Now might be the time to go back to the professional and discuss the diagnosis and any questions or misconceptions your friend might still have. A meeting with the school she's attending to make up a plan accordingly, possibly also with the help of the health professional, might relieve her worries and give her more hope in a positive future despite her difficulties. All the best.
Mental Health Foundation is located on #1 Leopard Road in Cay Hill. Call (721) 542-1677.
