Go Shorty, it’s your birthday
We gonna party like it’s your birthday
And we gonna sip “protein shakes” like it’s your birthday
And you know we don’t give a “who,” it’s not your birthday
I’ve been in my head a lot of late. MORE so than usual, LOL.
So many thoughts crossing through my mind, so many that I’m trying to get a grasp on, so many that I have a grasp on and trying to process, and so many that I’m trying to filter out. It all kind of makes it harder to write, because there are so many possible things that I could say, but honestly, some of the crap in my head should never really be heard out loud, LOL!
So, I make birthday on Saturday and though I never really have any grand plans, I always make it a point to do some self-reflection. I self-reflect on the past year and overall where I am as a man. The last year, though I managed to keep things together, has played out to be very messy (very, very messy). It’s been a whirlwind of dodo, so let’s just skip pass that. Okay, good, LOL.
I like paying attention to all the thoughts that are passing through my mind as they aid in my self-reflection and in my growth as a person.
Things happen around us all day, every day, and it feeds into our subconscious. Those things tend to affect the way that we behave over time and sometimes they rise to the forefront of our minds via triggers. Now, when I say all day, every day, I mean both in the present and in the past.
So, some of the things that are on my mind now are situations that took place as a kid (preteen/early teen years). Though I cannot say what the trigger is that’s pulling them out of my subconscious, I’m happy that they are being pulled, because I’m realizing a lot of the things that helped to make me, me. And that can be either good or bad.
As a man, I can confidently say that I’ve come a long way, but in the same breath that I have a long way to go. Not to any destination, but on a long journey of never-ending growth.
Paying attention to my thoughts has shown me that there are several areas in my life that need improving or fine tuning. Simple example: I realized that I’ve spent the majority of my life trying not to be something, instead of trying to be something. Okay. Okay. Clarity.
I spent a lot of time and energy trying not to be like the man around me; so, what I did was not treat women the way he did, not speak the way he did, and not dress the way he did. While that was helpful, it still left me with a void, because I never actually created a goal or a plan for the type of man that I wanted to become. So, fast forward to today, I can easily say all the things that I am not, but it gets a bit difficult trying to say the things that I am.
The fact that we are so interdependent from one another is something that I am also really conscious of and use as a part of my drive towards good decision making. However, when there are people much like me, who know what they are not, but not exactly what they are, it hampers (or diminishes) that positive impact that we should and will have on others.
So, I just want to leave you guys with this: Let’s all spend some time moving forward, discovering more of who we are and want to be, instead of who we aren’t or don’t want to be.
To birthdays and more ink…
Cues the classic In Da Club by 50 Cent*
