“Get back gruffy, back scruffy
Get back you flea-infested mongrel!
Who let the dogs out?
(Who, who, who, who)”
Two situations came about really recently that involved dogs. Now I’m going to say it loud and clear: “I am not afraid of dogs!” But I am smart enough to know what they are capable of and to keep my distance.
I have never been bitten by a dog and I intend to keep that streak alive as LONG as possible. Have you ever had a toddler run into you? Did you almost fall because of it? Imagine an animal that is bigger and faster than a toddler pursuing and launching at you. Uh uh! Not this guy.
My friend Jo-Ann from Leighloe designed a custom shirt for me (see my Facebook profile picture). When I went to her house to pick it up from her, I saw that she had two men outside – okay…I mean two dogs – two huge Rottweilers that she calls “little puppies”. Excuse you! Little what?! I told her that she’d BETTER come get me because I would defend myself against any attack. She did come to get me and I felt safe-“er”. (Insert smiley face emoji.)
On another night after getting off from a gig, I stopped by to see one of my goddaughters. I got to the door as usual and through the window, I could see a man in the house – okay…I mean I saw a dog. They tried to convince me that it was just a puppy – like I couldn’t see the huge man-looking animal with my own two eyes! They put him away and all was well with me, that is, until my goddaughter thought it was funny to go let the dog out while I was still in the house.
I immediately reached for the “yuh know” in my pocket because it was me or the dog at the point [lol]. Thankfully, I got outside before the dog came out. My goddaughter either doesn’t know that I’m a trained assassin or she really had faith that I would wear the dog to my next event.
Man, when I’m in the States, I walk past any dog, anywhere. I know for a fact that these dogs are trained because people can sue you for your house if your dog attacks them. On St. Martin, everyone hits you with the “he doesn’t bite” story, like I didn’t see him chasing Carlos yesterday. You ever had rabies, Bro? Frothing from the mouth and such? Keep those dogs away from an assassin like me!
This isn’t me saying that all dogs are bad or crazy, but I do know that they are capable of harming me, especially if they are not trained, as a lot of times owners don’t make the investment to train their pets – locally.
Bro, I’d fight a dog hand to hand like Hulk and Loki, especially those man sized ones! Throw some dirt in your eye #CheatCode #IAintNeverScared
*Cues Who Let The Dogs Out by Baha Men*
