I hope you grow up to become that everything you can be
That's all I wanted for you young'n, like Father, like Son
But in the end, I hope you only turn out better than me
I hope you know I love you young'n, like Father, like Son
It should be fair to say that none of us can downplay the effects the absence of a father figure has on the life of a growing human. Absence in general has an effect because there is automatically an imbalance in the structure; but today I’ll talk mainly about pops.
The absence of a father figure is one of the cons I see with homosexual relationships. There is a lack in one area and an overload in another, imbalance. The absence of a father figure is a reason that I do not fight these stupid young cats that go around hurting young women (consciously and unconsciously). Honestly, for not fighting the stupid young cat that I once was. The absence of a father figure is a reason I care so much about my goddaughters. The absence of a father figure is a reason for being heartbroken when I see these young ladies searching (consciously and unconsciously) for attention and affirmation in the wrong places.
That’s why I want to fight people who say, “Let people live their life.” Well, not fight like Mortal Kombat (finish him!) but more like Street Fighter (Hadouken). And with that, I think I have resent for persons who made it “out” good, pretty good or just okay that don’t look back to help anyone else. I for one believe that every life has a purpose for being present and for being present in the time that they are present. We go through so many situations that we learn from, and we pass down/on so many things. Why would the lessons learned from experiences not be amongst those things?
There are a lot of lessons that I learned in my life from going through situations and troubles. Though I came out on the other end experienced, there are also so many scars. There are also many wounds that are still in the process of healing. But did I die? No. However, there is a plethora (sorry, guys, lol) of scars and wounds that were unnecessary and could have been avoided had there been someone willing (and able) to pass on their experiences to me.
I’d like to say that my dad and I had a pretty cool relationship growing up. I lived with my mom all of my life and although my dad wasn’t the type of person who consistently came around, I could have seen him anytime I wanted to. What I appreciated the most about Pops was that he was always available whenever I called or needed anything – no excuse. When I got a little older, he’d make me come on jobs with him to earn my money. He was also present at all of my graduations, even when he had to fly up to NY – that was pretty dope.
His absence did of course have major effects on me. Things that a man should learn from a father or father figure, I learned from friends and Google – both not ideal sources of information at the time (lol). I also spent a considerable amount of time and energy trying not to become “him” – not exactly the “him” that I knew, but the version of “him” that people had thrown in my face. People assumed that I had to be a certain way because that’s how we Hymans were.
Growing up as a young man – well at least trying to – and having so much negativity thrown at me and expected of me was nothing shy of hard. So much of that affected the way I treated women and relationships, reflected in my decision making, showed itself in traits, and honestly caused wounds that have yet to heal completely.
To be continued…
“Cues Like Father, Like Son by The Game”
