“They want you in the dark
Ignorant and blind stricken
Mad cuz I'm runnin' round
Hittin' all the light switches”
On Tuesday night, our group Zi Link Up, which meets up once a month, linked up at the Waterfront in Marigot. We each took a turn to answer: “What was a defining moment in your life?” and “What issue or situation in society bothers you and how would you fix it?” As you can imagine, there were some really interesting responses to both questions
While listening to different persons give their responses, a thought came to mind that I had before. I continued to listen; then when it was Sahv’s turn, she mentioned the exact thought that I was having; the only difference is she made it specific to fathers.
The thought is based on something that I’ve often heard parents say to their children, which is “I’ve fed you, put clothes on your back and kept a roof over your head; what more do you want from me?” (I’m having déjà vu typing this because it feels like I have addressed this thought before, but ehhh, I’m going to continue, anyway.) This saying is obviously one that is made out of frustration. It could be frustration from simply having to work extremely hard or struggling to make ends meet or frustration from having to struggle to make ends meet while dealing with a child that is “out of order.”
Trust me, on one hand, I get it. Especially in the case of having to deal with a child or even children who don’t seem to notice how hard you work and try to make things easier on you; knowing what you’re doing for them to meet their basic needs, having to deal with bad behaviour and even a lack of respect are enough pressure to make any pipe “buss.” HOWEVER; on the other hand, a child has so many other needs besides just those basic needs: emotional, psychological, sociological. And it is the duty of a parent to ensure that those needs are met as well.
I am no psychologist. I am just an observant, logical thinker. As someone who has heard that saying, both said to them and to others, it is hard to ignore that some of the “issues” a child can have or display are directly linked to this saying. A parent can place so much effort into providing the basic, tangible needs of the child that missing out on those intangibles becomes easy. Honestly, sometimes it’s just a cycle: This is how my parents raised me, so this is how I raise my child.
There are so many subtle cues and triggers that we miss in our childhoods that we grow up and perpetuate (thanks for the word, Cassie). This piece was more so me venting the thought that I was having and shedding a small light on it.
My sister is pursuing her Master’s in psychology, so maybe next week I’ll drag her in to shed some more light on this topic. I think it is an important topic to address and I am sure she has some advice and tips that can be helpful to us.
But you know, band moving.
*Cues Ether by Bizzle*
