Today’s topic is really meant to bring this “matter” to the frontal lobe of the brain. (I hope I used that correctly as it was an attempt to sound more intelligent. Lol) It isn’t one of those situations that has a 1, 2, 3 solution and there are so many different angles from which it can be looked at.
During a casual Facebook scrolling session on Sunday before last, a post from my friend Natalia Richardson caught my attention. It’ll be referenced below, but just as an intro, the post was about predatory men and underage girls. These are the types of posts you generally try to avoid commenting on because you know trolls are lurking, just waiting to cause confusion. However, Cameron saw it fit to comment.
There are a lot of thoughts in my head about the “predators” and equally about the “prey”. Let’s see how it goes getting a bit of this off of my chest.
The initial post:
“Man in SXM need to come better than this!
Even though I don't want to speak for anyone else, I do need to address these things because it is getting out of hand.
Stop hitting up my 15-year-old sister. Y'all are wayyyyyyy too old for her. Y'all are disgusting and don't want to be man enough for a woman in your own age range!
I don't know when this trend started. But men in Sxm really love to talk to girls that are wayyyyy younger than them. Not sure what's wrong with y'all mentally. But y'all need to seek help. Our next generations need to come better than this.
Ladies... please don't entertain these predators. Yes you might be "mature for your age". But if you have to lie to your parents about where you're sleeping over. THEN YOU'RE DEFINITELY TOO YOUNG FOR HIM. Unless you are ready to do things that a woman his age does. Y'all really shouldn't even entertain these guys.”
My comments:
“Maybe the age of consent shouldn’t be 16.
Not old enough to make a “good” decision about who should lead the country... But old enough to risk being a parent.
Predators are an issue too... But when you’re separating the young from the pack for them... They’re guaranteed to wanna hunt.”
(Oh how I love using metaphors.)
One of my techniques in analysing any situation is to look one or more steps higher in the chain. How is it that we live in a system where the age of consent (the age at which a person’s – typically a girl – consent to sexual intercourse is lawfully valid) is 16? Why can’t we vote until we’re 18? Are we too impressionable before that age? Are we expected to not have enough wisdom before that age? Are the “workings” of a country too intricate to comprehend before that age? But we can surely consent to sex. We can surely consent to activities that carry the risk of us becoming parents and dropping out of school. Like, mah g? How Sway? My piece a few Thursdays back was about parents no longer raising their kids based on principles and this ties right back into this topic as well. (Cough... Go to The Daily Herald website to read it, lol.)
Now, as a human-being; a predator is a person or group that ruthlessly exploits others – and that’s a good definition. However, I love the animal-definition as an animal that naturally preys on others. I watch predators hunting on YouTube for hours on end and, believe me, if the young gets separated from the pack, it’s lunch time. In my opinion, that’s what a lower age of consent does – separate the young from the pack. You have more knowledge that she might; it’s assumed that you have more wisdom than she might; and yes, you have resources that might “appeal” to her. Don’t get me wrong, a lot of younger girls enjoy the attention and instigate it (I’ll address this later), but these guys need to consider their sisters, nieces and daughters. I’ve seen it first-hand where a guy would say “Nah bro, that’s xyz sisters, or abc daughter; she’s off limits!” So there’s a cognitive cherry picking process that happens. I guess pun intended. This matter is so deep and goes back at least an entire generation. There is no one way to get rid of it, but it’s definitely something that we need to talk about some more.
Oh sweet little Bambi. Poor helpless gazelle. It’s kind of the case, but not always the case. To get some first-hand information, I asked some girls I know a few questions. It turns out that some younger girls just would not entertain it – period. But others have no issue being approached by an older guy, as long as she has interests in him as well. What do you do when the young lady does exercise her consent? What do you do when the young lady says bluntly that she knows what she’s doing? Can we still call the predator a predator?
Natalia made an excellent point during our private conversation. She said that a lot of these younger girls are mentally raising themselves; so at a young age, they feel mature and self-sufficient. They feel like their decisions are justified and the need to exercise their ability to consent. However, when you corner them into a meaningful conversation, you hear the defensive “force-ripeness” and the need to affirm their decision making.
Again, this isn’t one of those situations or topics that has a 1, 2, 3 solution. It is something that we need to discuss, though. How do we educate our young ladies to avoid ending up in a situation where an older guy is taking advantage of her? How can we educate our young men, so that we don’t have another generation of “predators”? Let’s talk.
