Dear Queenie,
I am so confused. I fell in love with my best friend 7 years ago. We met each other through mutual friends.
The problem is he has a girlfriend, and every time we have an argument he gets upset for a long period of time. It can be the most small thing and he would get upset and stop speaking to me for months. And then he comes back and speaks to me as if everything is peaches and cream when in reality I'm hurting.
I need to move on from him. The problem is I don't know how, but I cannot continue this toxic relationship. It’s draining me, physically and emotionally.
Queenie, how do I move on from this?—Emotionally Drained
Dear Emotionally Drained,
Try to concentrate on other things – and people – than this friend (who does not seem to me to be that good a friend, from your description of his behaviour). Get involved in activities that will also involve you with other like-minded people. Volunteer work is always a productive option.
With any luck, you will meet someone else to whom you are attracted, in which case be open to a new relationship. At the very least, you can keep so busy you will not have time to dwell on your feelings for Mr. Already Has A Girlfriend.
And, as I always recommend, if you cannot cope with your feelings without help, get professional counselling.
