Dear Queenie,
When I was a kid I used to think my parents were so mean! They wouldn’t let me do things I wanted to do or have toys I wanted so much or wear clothes like all my friends.
Now I’m grown up with kids of my own and every so often I surprise myself by telling my kids just the same things my parents used to tell me and I don’t think I’m being mean to them, but I wonder if they think so, the way I used to.
Queenie, what do you think of that?—Ex-kid
Dear Ex-kid,
We learn most of our parenting skills from our own parents. If, looking back, you think your parents did a pretty good job on you, you are probably on the right track with your own kids.
On the other hand, if, as an adult, you still think your parents treated you badly, you need to take a long hard look at the way you are raising your own children. You can still learn valuable lessons from the way your parents brought you up, but as an example to avoid rather than to follow.
If you have trouble breaking the patterns your parents set, counselling might help. So would parenting classes, if any are available on the island. If there are any, the Women’s Desk could probably help you find them.
