Dear Queenie,
My parents got divorced a long time ago and my mother still talks bad about my father and gets vexed if I say anything about him or have anything to do with him. If he is present at any family occasion she is so unpleasant that it gets difficult for everyone.
I have been together with my boyfriend for years, but she doesn’t like him either and she acts the same way about him. She wouldn’t even spend Easter with us because he would be there.
Queenie, is there any way I can get her to stop behaving this way?—Fed-up daughter
Dear Daughter,
Whenever there is a family occasion, tell your mother it is her choice whether or not to be there, but if she does attend you expect her to be civil to (and about) everyone else. And if she attends and then starts behaving unpleasantly, feel free to ask her (politely!) to tone it down or leave.
