Dear Queenie,
I’ve been dating a wonderful woman and I want to ask her to marry me. My problem is, we haven’t had sex yet. Every time I try, she seems to get all excited, but then suddenly she will break it off and say she wants to save herself for the man she marries.
Queenie, I want to marry her, but what if she still doesn’t want to have sex after we are married? I don’t want to get stuck with a frigid wife!—Frustrated
Dear Frustrated,
You have no real indication that this woman is not interested in sex. From what you say, she may very well simply be an intelligent woman who can control her urges and refuses become sexually intimate with a man with whom she does not have a permanent relationship.
Have you talked to her about this issue? Other than when you are “hot to trot,” I mean. If you haven’t, by all means do so – at a time when neither of you is sexually aroused. A frank discussion should give you a better understanding of her reaction to your sexual advances.
And remember the old saying to the effect that there are no frigid women, just a lot of sexually incompetent and unsympathetic men.
