Dear Queenie,
I was dating this woman I really liked but I was careful not to come on too strong so as not to offend her – just a hug and a kiss on her cheek to say goodnight when I took her home. I thought she really liked me too, but after a few dates that I thought went just great she stopped answering my calls and texts.
Queenie, did I do something wrong?—Ghosted
Dear Ghosted,
Either this woman did not like you as much as you thought, or the problem was not so much that you did something wrong as that you did not do something right.
It is true that women do not like to be pressured into accepting or doing things they do not want, but this does not mean things that might be of that sort should never be offered. What this means is that when you offer such things you must be prepared to take “No” for an answer without pressing the matter and without taking offence.
My guess is that this woman really did like you as much as you thought, but when you never even tried to go beyond a light hug and a kiss on her cheek she thought you were rather wimpy or were not really that interested in her and therefore not worth wasting her time on.
Another time, I suggest you try being just a little more aggressive with a woman you “really like,” while being prepared to back off immediately and without taking offence if/when she pushes you away, backs away from your advances or says “No.”
