Dear Queenie,
Between his job and his service club and his hobbies, my husband doesn’t have a lot of time to spend with me. Some time ago I ran into an old friend from college and he invited me to go to lunch with him and we had a great time catching up on old times.
When I got home I told my husband about it and he got very angry and jealous and said I should never see that old friend again.
I’m not about to cheat on my husband, but I did enjoy spending time with that old friend.
Queenie, should I obey my husband or would it be okay to see my old friend again even if my husband objects?—Lonely wife
Dear Wife,
Continuing to see this old friend over your husband’s objections could lead to trouble, not only because you are feeling neglected and therefore are vulnerable, but because it would cause your husband to distrust you even more than he already does.
Have you talked to your husband about how lonely and neglected you feel? It might help to do so, assuming he would listen to and understand what you have to say.
You might also try to get involved in a social or service group – maybe even your husband’s – so you will not feel so lonely.
If that does not help, consider professional counselling, for yourself alone if you cannot persuade your husband to go with you.
And if you do decide to meet up with that old friend again, invite your husband to come along. He cannot then say you are going behind his back.
