Dear Queenie,
My sister gave my daughter a very generous check for her birthday, but then she started telling my daughter she should spend it on some stylish new clothes because what she was wearing was not in fashion any more.
My daughter works full time and also goes to school – she is working to get a graduate degree – and what with tuition and paying off her student loans she does not have money to spend for new clothes or time to do a lot of shopping. The check was a big help in paying off the loans and she tried to explain this to my sister when she thanked her for the gift, but my sister just would not listen. Now my daughter does not want to talk to her aunt any more.
Queenie, how can I keep peace in the family?—Mother in the middle
Dear Mother,
You could try explaining all this to your sister, but if she would not listen to your daughter, she probably will not listen to you either. If that is what happens, write your sister a letter explaining all this (again). She cannot interrupt a letter or argue with it, and maybe if she reads it more than once the message will sink it.
