Dear Queenie,
I was married for more than 30 years and five years after my wife died I married again.
The problem is my new wife can’t stand the thought of me being married before. She can’t stand to see a picture of my late wife or hear her name mentioned. We had to move into a new house and get all new furniture and everything because she refused to have anything to do with anything that had belonged to my first wife.
Queenie, is this normal? Is it wrong of me to remember my late wife or is my new wife being unreasonable?—Remarried widower
Dear Remarried,
It is not unusual for a second wife to feel that she has to compete with her husband’s memories of his first marriage, but your present wife seems to be carrying this tendency to an extreme. Apparently she is very insecure.
Try to avoid saying or doing anything that she could take as a comparison to your late wife. But also encourage her to get some professional counselling, with or without you.
