Dear Queenie,
I retired from my job recently and my wife and I like to take it easy in the morning now that I don’t have to get up early to go to work. Sometimes we sleep fairly late and sometimes when we get up we eat breakfast first and don’t get dressed until later on.
The problem is a friend of ours, also recently retired, who has a habit of dropping in on us without calling ahead. I guess he is still accustomed to getting up early and can’t change his ways. But sometimes he catches us before we have gotten dressed for the day and it’s embarrassing.
Queenie, how do we tell him to call first and let us know he is coming without being rude to him?—Sleepyheads

Dear Sleepyheads,
Your friend is being rude to just drop in on you without first letting you know he is coming. I see no reason to worry about being rude to him.
However, it would not be rude for you to tell him when he arrives that it is not convenient for you to visit with him just then and to suggest that he come back at whatever time you would find more convenient. It also would not be rude to ask him (as pleasantly as you can manage) to call ahead in the future to let you know he is planning to come by.

Dear Queenie,
My brother and I do not get along with each other. He lives abroad and we do not keep in touch.
So, Queenie, when people ask me how he is doing do I tell them what I am telling you or what do I say?—Not speaking to him

Dear Not speaking,
Just say, “I do not know. I have not spoken to him recently.” You do not have to go into detail as to why you do not keep in touch with him.

Dear Queenie,
I’ve been dating a terrific man who was dating several other women too when we started out. After a while I told him I wanted an exclusive relationship and he agreed to stop dating anyone else and he has kept his word on that.
However, recently I told him I want to spend the rest of my life with him and suggested we get married, but he said no, that was not going to happen and if that was the only way we could be together it was over between us.
Queenie, what’s going on here?—Confused girlfriend

Dear Confused,
There could be several reasons for your boyfriend’s refusal to marry you. He may be legally married already, although separated from his wife. Your relationship with him may not have been as exclusive on his part as you think. Or he may not yet (if ever) be ready to make as firm a commitment to you as marriage would be.
Consider yourself lucky that he has been at least that honest with you. Now you will have to decide whether you want to continue with him on his terms.

Dear Queenie,
Every year we spend a week in St. Maarten in our timeshare condo (except this year, of course, because of Hurricane Irma). Anyway, we have become friends with another couple who also have the timeshare week as ours at the same timeshare resort.
The problem is, now we are friends this one couple they expect us to spend all our time in St. Maarten with them because they do not know anyone else here. However, we have also become friends with other couples at other timeshares and even with some local people and we would like to visit with them also while we are here.
Queenie, how do we get away from this one couple?—We have lots of friends

Dear Lots of friends,
Have you tried taking “this one couple” with you and introducing them to some of your other friends? Maybe if they meet and get to know others besides you, they will not be so clingy.
If this does not take care of your problem, just explain to this couple (as diplomatically as possible) when you do not want to be with them that you have other plans and are simply not available. You can ease the sting a little by suggesting another time that you can spend with them.