Dear Queenie,
When my daughter-in-law went to the hospital to have her first baby she said she didn’t want anyone but her husband there on the day the baby was born because she wanted time to bond with her baby.
I brought some flowers for her and gave them to my son to give to her and he took me to the nursery to get a peek at the baby through a window. When his wife found out I had been there she got upset and now she won’t let me see my grandchild at all.
Queenie, how can I make this right?—Sad grandma
Dear Grandma,
You should have respected your daughter-in-law’s wishes, however unreasonable they may have seemed to you. You could have waited a day or two to see your new grandchild.
Your son and his wife are the child’s parents and they get to make the rules regarding their children. Apologise profusely and, if you want to remain in contact with them, abide by their rules.
Dear Queenie,
I am happily married woman. A man I know from where I work told me he was attracted to me and if I was interested he would like to take me out. I found this flattering, but of course I said “no.”
Queenie, if he asks me again would it be wrong to just go with him for a drink and some conversation?—Can’t get him off my mind
Dear Can’t,
It would be a very bad idea, to say the least.
This guy is after more than just some conversation. And the chances are he tries the same tricks with a lot of women and is not looking for more than a casual hook-up. Do you really want to risk your marriage for something like that?
Dear Queenie,
My boss met my wife at last year’s office Christmas party, but I’m sure he won’t recognise her when they meet again this year and for that matter I don’t know if she will know who he is until I point him out to her.
Queenie, how do you handle a situation like this?—Introduction Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
If you are the third (introducing) party, just say something like, “Boss, you remember my wife (whatever her name is). You met her at last year’s party.”
Or your wife can say something like, “Hi, I’m (your name)’s wife (her name). Remember me?”
Either way you give your boss and your wife an easy way to pretend they remember, in case they really do not.
Dear Queenie,
Our mother had a room filled with keepsakes from our childhood that she was saving for my sister and me. Soon after she died our father emptied out the room and just threw everything away. Now all our memories are gone.
Queenie, how could he be so mean?—Devastated daughter
Dear Daughter,
My answer depends on several factors: Did your father know you wanted to keep these things? And, were you and your sister ready to remove them from his home?
Your father may have wanted to get rid of painful reminders of the loss of his beloved wife. Or, he may have always been annoyed by what he considered her hoarding of useless junk and just wanted to clean house. Either way, if your father did not know you wanted all these things or if he knew, but wanted to get rid of them and you were not ready to take them out of his home, you could not expect him to keep them for you indefinitely.
Dear Queenie,
I got divorced because my husband cheated on me and my present boyfriend and I have been together for about 5 years and have a lovely daughter.
The thing is, I can’t seem to get over my ex-husband or cut off from his family and I keep wondering if there is someone better for me out there than my child’s father.
Queenie, is it possible that my ex and I could get back together?—Still searching
Dear Searching,
It is long past time for you to grow up and stop searching for “someone better.” You have a child to love and nurture, and that means giving her a stable environment – which means making a firm commitment to her father and making your life with him the best it can be. If necessary, get professional counselling to help you resolve your obvious issues and learn how to do this.
