Dear Editor,
Recently I read a ‘Dear Queenie’ post, dated May 7, titled “Impatient patient” Now, I never respond to these; I normally shake my head in shock and disgust or laugh off the nonsense. However, this time it struck a nerve. Actually, it was utmost disgust towards the individual who wrote the post and to the individual behind Queenie giving an “opinion”.
Opinion: “An opinion is the lowest form of knowledge”. I’ll leave that “down” there with you.
It’s so easy to sit back, observe others, gossip, and nit pic. “He said, she said” and judge a parent trying to do her or his best, when you are not in their shoes or paying their bills, isn’t it? Fun times, eh? Here’s a shout out to all the religious, judgmental, hypocritical fanatics (notice I said religious, not spiritual … big difference) On Sunday, when you’re all pretending to be perfect, (hence my sarcasm), let’s remember this: Luke 6:37 and John 8:7.
None of you are Jesus, that I know as a fact. (And that’s a special shout out to all my neighbours.) Take care of what’s behind your wall before you throw stones. Be careful, sometimes stones bounce … I believe they are bouncing now!!
Back to the issue at hand. Firstly, to the person who wrote the question to Queenie. How dare you sit there and judge this mother. This female who sounds like she was having a hard day, sitting in a doctor’s office with two children? One is enough for me. I feel for this mother.
This is exactly what I recently wrote about … mother shaming. Solo parent shaming. The person wrote about a child kicking a water bottle around a doctor’s office. Was it a bomb? A Molotov cocktail? You, the writer, stated it was water … let’s read this together, water … well, I pray everyone in that doctor’s office survived being splashed by water. Water, not juice, again. Together let’s say it, water.
She, the mother, apparently then gave it to her other child to drink the water. Ok, did the child lick the water off the floor in a puddle form like a dog? If so, yes, unsanitary. I admit, at that point even I would have an issue with it, but writing to Queenie about it would not have helped.
To the writer: who gave you the right to judge this mother? Do you know if she was a solo parent just trying to keep her children alive, at the same time sitting in a doctor’s office trying to get service for either herself or her children? Did this mother sleep the night before? Does this mother have sufficient food, clothing and housing for her and her children? None of that crossed your judgemental mind, right? Goodness, you were so worried about being splashed by water.
Curious, was the writer a mother? A mother with a husband or a baby daddy doing everything for her? Ha! Or a man, a man with no children or a man who abandoned his own children leaving it easy to judge? Double Ha, Ha! No solo parent would ever judge another parent (man or woman) for something so frivolous.
Furthermore, what exactly was the writer’s question? I am still searching for the question in her or his post? What exactly was this person trying to achieve by writing to a newspaper therapist after the event passed? Obvious, to shame a woman, a mother.
Suggestion:
To the writer, who sat there in a doctor’s office and your life was turned upside down over a water bottle; I hope you get therapy.
To the individual behind Queenie; I will leave this blank.
To the entire population of SXM who actually cares, Here’s my advice. Should you find yourself in a situation with a “wild toddler” and a mama or father who looks tired and ready to give up, it’s simple. Ask them if they need help. Do not be condescending . Do not judge them. I promise you; they are exhausted. Make a joke, lighten the mood or just make conversation. Talk to them. You never know, maybe you will be the first adult they make contact with that day. You have the ability to change the entire situation for parent, child and yourself. Instead of gossiping , or writing to Queenie, try helping instead. You will make a friend for life instead of an enemy for life.
I am a solo mother to a high-energy toddler. To anyone out there who has an opinion about our life, please, I dare you to share it with me. After the sharing moment, I will be asking for donations towards our life. Keep that in mind.
I would like to extend a Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers struggling, and trying to keep it together. Stay strong. You are not alone!
Mary De Francesco
