Dear Queenie,
Several years ago when I got married I asked my cousin to be a bridesmaid. We were never very close, but I needed one more bridesmaid to make the wedding party come out even. She never showed up for the fitting of the bridesmaid gowns, so I found someone else to take her place.
Now I have received an invitation to her wedding. It was addressed to me alone and when I asked her what about my husband she said no boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands or wives were invited because the dinner costs $100 per person and they couldn’t afford it.
Queenie, is this correct? Do I have to go without my husband?—Angry wife
Dear Angry wife,
No, it is absolutely not correct! Unlike boyfriends and girlfriends, a married couple are officially considered to be a unit and it is against the rules of etiquette to invite one spouse and leave the other out. Your cousin is either extremely ignorant or extremely rude.
You are not required to attend your cousin’s wedding at all, with or without your husband. Decline her invitation politely, with or without an explanation as you prefer, and send a token gift if you like. However, if you are not going to the wedding, you don’t even have to send a gift if you don’t want to.
