Dear Queenie,
I was in love, I’m still in love. I thought this guy was the one for me. I based everything around him. He told me that I would be his wife, and I believed him.
He knew what I was looking for in life before we decided to get serious. He was sure of what he wanted in life and that made me love him even more.
We were not married, but I did everything a wife or a lover would do. I was there for him, I would stand by his side, I would give him the best of me, because I wanted to bring out the best in him. He was everything to me.
Now he is having second thoughts. He isn’t too sure of what he wants now in life, he is confused. In the beginning he was so sure and so positive, now all of a sudden he has this sudden change. And I am left with a broken heart and empty inside.
Queenie, do you think this is fair to me?—Distraught
Dear Distraught,
Of course it is not fair to you. But you got yourself into this mess and it is up to you to get yourself out.
I think your boyfriend knows exactly what he wants, and what he doesn’t want. He wants the advantages of being married. He doesn’t want the responsibilities. He probably knew all this from the start and was only stringing you along, telling you what you wanted to hear so you would give him what he wanted.
Now it’s time for you to decide what you want and to go after it. And this time, insist on a formal commitment – marriage – before you “base everything around him, do everything a wife or a lover would do, and give him the best of you.”
