Dear Queenie,
I got divorced years ago because my husband was having an affair. My kids were 5 and 6 years old at the time.
After the divorce my ex-husband married the woman he had the affair with and they had a baby who is now school-age and when my own kids are staying with their father and come to see me they bring along their little half-sister. I don’t like having this kid around because she reminds me of all that stuff I went through with the affair and the divorce.
Queenie, how do I explain all this to my own kids without saying bad things about their dad?—Ex-wife
Dear Ex-wife,
Write your ex-husband a (polite) note explaining that you prefer not to see this child because of all the unhappy memories she brings up.
Without going into any painful and unpleasant detail, tell your own children that you wish they would not bring their little sister with them when they come to see you because seeing her makes you remember how unhappy you were back then when you and their father got divorced.
