Dear Queenie,
A man I was dating told me he had done some rather unpleasant things in the past and he didn’t want to talk about them, but he said I could ask his ex-wife about them and he gave me her phone number, so I called her and she told me all about it, but she said it was a long time ago and he had taken his punishment and had counselling and wasn’t like that anymore.
I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and went on seeing him, but he had some other habits I didn’t like so I broke up with him and now I think he is saying bad things about me to get back at me for breaking up with him. A friend of mine who also knows him has gotten very distant and I think it’s because of what this man is saying about me.
Queenie, what should I do?—Stumped
Dear Stumped,
Ask your friend why you have not seen her for a while. If her reason has anything to do with this man, tell her the whole story. If it does not, at least you will know what is – or is not – going on with her and will have a better idea of how to deal with it.
