Dear Queenie,
I have been divorced for many years and my ex-husband now lives and works far away from here. His family still lives here and they want to have our children, their only grandchildren, come to visit them, or to come to my house to see the children, every week.
My problem is that when we were married, his family didn’t like me and said I was the worst thing that ever happened to their son and brother. They also blame me for the divorce although it was really his fault because he cheated on me, but I suspect he lied to them about it.
I would like my children to have a relationship with their father’s family, but I worry about the lies they would tell the children about me.
Queenie, how can I do this?— The ex-wife
Dear Ex-wife,
Tell your former in-laws that they may visit the children in your home as long as they behave civilly toward and about you, that you will be present the entire time, and that if they say or do anything to offend you they will have to leave immediately.
And it would not hurt to have a member of your own family or a good friend also present during those visits to help you enforce your rules if it becomes necessary.
