Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend and I had a child a couple of years ago. Then we broke up and he moved away, but we stayed in touch because of the baby and are still friends.
Now he has come back home and he says he’s still in love with me and asked me to marry him so the three of us could really be a family.
He’s a very good man, kind and generous, makes a good living and a good father to our son, but I’m just not in love with him. He says that doesn’t matter, he still wants me to marry him, and I want our son to have a real family and a full-time father, but I’m just not sure if it’s the right thing to do.
Queenie, please tell me what to do!—Undecided
Dear Undecided,
I cannot tell you what to do; you have to decide for yourself what is best for you and your son. However, I can give you some points to think about.
Being (or in your case not being) romantically “in love” is not always the best reason for such a decision. Sometimes it takes a while for that kind of love to grow between two people.
Furthermore, that romantic kind of love is not always the best foundation for a good relationship. Sometimes considerations such as being “a very good man, kind and generous, making a good living and a being good father to your son” can be a better basis for a strong, happy and lasting marriage.
Think it over carefully, get professional pre-marital counselling if you need more help than I am offering, and then make your decision.
