Dear Queenie,
We have 2 sons, both grown-up and living on their own. We are going on vacation and would like to take them with us, but the younger son has a drinking problem. He behaves alright when he is sober, but when he is drinking he gets mean and embarrasses us and has gotten in some real trouble while drunk.
His older brother is able to keep him under control, but we don’t think it’s fair to expect him to do that while he is supposed to be on vacation, but it’s not fair to take one son with us and not the other.
Queenie, should we just forget about a vacation with our sons?—Undecided father
Dear Father,
While on vacation, your older son should not have to be his brother’s keeper and you should not have to be worried about what your younger son will do next.
Tell your younger son that he is welcome to come with you if he will promise not to drink anything alcoholic – and if you think you can trust him to keep that promise. If he will not promise or if you do not trust him to keep his promise, feel free to leave him at home. That is (part of) the price he will have to pay for his drinking.
Who knows? Maybe your ultimatum will be the incentive he needs to get some real help for his drinking problem, perhaps from Alcoholics Anonymous (see Agenda, page 2 of this newspaper).
