Dear Queenie,
A few weeks ago my father, who is almost 80, said he felt dizzy and “couldn’t think right.” Then when he tried to do a puzzle in the newspaper he asked us the same question over and over.
I told my mother he must be sick and she should take him to see his doctor or even the emergency room at the hospital, but she wouldn’t do it, so I called his doctor and he said, yes, I should take him to the hospital so they could check him out for possibly a stroke, but my mother just got mad at me for interfering in their private business.
I talked to my father and told him what the doctor said and he agreed to go see him, but when he did he didn’t tell him about all his symptoms.
Queenie, Dad seems to be getting worse, or at least not getting any better. Should I keep on trying to help him or do like Mom says and mind my own business?—Worried son
Dear Son,
Very often a person will make light of their spouse’s health problems because it is easier to believe that everything will be alright than to worry about them all the time.
You should keep trying to help your father, but try to include your mother in the process. And ask your father to take you with him the next time he goes to see his doctor (and make sure that is soon, even if you have to make the appointment yourself) so that you can hear for yourself what the doctor says and see to it that they follow up on it.
And be sure to let them know you will be there to help as much as you can.
